I didn’t want to cry today,
But I wept as I thought of what was broken
Last year I was numb,
The pills helped me to function
In a foggy existence.
The pain was real
Masked by an artificial chemical imbalance
That allowed me to function,
In a fractured shadow of me,
At the end of every day –
I wondered if this was life,
Existing but shattered,
Wondering how it could be put together again.
Today I felt the pain,
That was there all along
An anniversary its chance to surface,
This pain is from living life,
the fog’s cloud lifted,
But, this means facing the divisions,
That led to a broken heart,
Broken open to experience love,
Love expressed in abundance
Fractured but healing
Emerging with new strength,
To face life with the courage.
Numb means lowered eyes,
Shame and failure
Courage looks life in the face,
And says; “There is better yet to come”.
I felt again hope’s embrace,
Touching my heart
that was broken open and shattered
To be reshaped
By love and trust and faith.