All of us in community – and especially, perhaps the people with responsibility – can carry a load of frustration which cannot always be expressed in a group without endangering the community itself. The more sensitive we are, the more we are weighed down by those feelings of frustration, anger, anxiety, incompetence, sadness, and apathy. We have a tremendous need to pour all of this out to someone in whom we feel secure. We may need to say how much we detest someone who challenges us, without being accused of a ‘lack of charity’. We may need this outlet for our emotions if we are to refind peace. But the person who becomes our ‘dustbin’ has to have the wisdom to collect all this without getting worked up about it, without trying to set everything right and without either judging or enjoying it; nor should they encourage bad feeling.
Jean Varnier, ‘Community and Growth’, p.142.