Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)
I put Toby to bed tonite. Before he hopped between the sheets he had to set it up right.
He took with him the following:-
You have to love the sense of organisation of a child.
Love – And lots of it. What a big word that is so maligned by so many people. Yet this is so neccessary for our kids to see demonstrated.
Firstly they need to see me love their mother. I am very committed to my kids seeing this happen. It was demonstrated by my Father to my mother and I think he set a great foundation for me to continue that on.
Secondly the kids need to see me love them. For example while trying to write I have been interrupted a hundred times (well at least 5) and that is ok. Because love means showing that they are more important than me writing about being a loving Father.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always "me first,"
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. (from Paul)
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Kindy – As much as I love my kids Kindy is a sanity stop. You drop them off and someone else looks after them for a day. In an era where there is so much pressure on the nuclear family and where families are so distant the and extended family is not always available to care for the kids. If they are able to help you out then you are fortunate, for the rest of us there is kindy.
My daughter lost her first tooth yesterday. It was an event that we had waited for almost a week from when we first noticed that it had become loose. That week was quite an exciting week in which I proposed a number of options to enable the tooth fairy to come early.
One was to tie some string around her tooth and for her to lay in bed while I shut the door. This would mean that her tooth could be quickly pulled. Another was to send my son to the toolbox to find some pliers. I assured Sophia that this could be quick as well. She didn’t take me up on any of my offers.
But the big day did finally arrive. The tooth came out. She went to bed very excited that sometime during the night the tooth fairy would come. And, it did. Sophia knew this because it left fairy dust on her bed and some money in her tooth jar.
Sometimes a bit a fantasy is nice in life. We get rid of Santa and fairies and fun too soon in our children’s lives. Sometimes I think that we need to hold onto those things more in life. It may not make us more successful but it will make life a lot more fun.
A. Allow time for lots of questions. Our four year old son’s favorite question at the moment is, “Why?” These are important things for him and need to be answered.
B. Be there. I know that this is stating the obvious but if you are not there kids know. And don’t try to excuse not being there by talking about quality time. Of course we need to spend quality time but we make the quality by investing in the quantity.
C. Care for the whole family. One of the best investments that you can make for your kids as a father is to care properly for their mother. How else are your sons going to know how to treat women and how are your daughters going to know how the men in their life are to be treated.
D. Dare to see life as an adventure. I know that kids need to see stability but life is also an adventure and needs to be lived to its fullest.
E. Encourage lots. Don’t fall into the trap of endessly criticising you kids expecting perfection. Be happy when they nearly get things right.
more coming……..
Technorati Tags : fatherhood, love
1. Work hard – he is 70 and works three jobs not because he has to but because he enjoys himself. I admire his work ethic.
2. Don’t just say I love you – live it. I can only remember Dad saying I love you once after I had gotten drunk and been a complete idiot at 16. That meant a lot to me but I know that everything Dad has done is an expression of his love for me. More than saying it he has lived it faithfully.
3. Be faithful to your wife – They have been married for over 40 years
4. Be interested in everything – Dad has his nose in everything. If he doesn’t know he will find out.
5. Keep learning – Dad is still willing to have a go at many things even starting a new career at 70. He hasn’t stopped learning yet!
Technorati Tags : fatherhood, love
I think that it was Freud who said that good mental health means that a person is able to love and to work. In a family loving is often very difficult. Being loving means that as a Father I am forced to make difficult decisions and stick to them. This is so my kids can get the consistency that they need.
Tough love demands that each family member assumes responsibility for their actions and choices. For the parent this means that they will not be manipulated by their children’s emotional reactions to their discipline. Parents need to realize that even though they may teach their children right that their children may make choices that contradict that teaching. The parents need to realize that this is not their responsibility.
Tough love requires the parent to:
1.Take a stand and stick to it.
2.Not be manipulated by their children
3.Provide help when the child needs it
I thought that this would be so easy when I became a parent. That because I was the adult I would instinctively know the difference between right and wrong and pass that onto my children. I realise more and more that love is a tough thing to live out. In my children’s life it is my responsibility to ensure that they will be equipped later on to be able to make the right choices in life.
I think that laughter is one of the greatest gifts that a Dad can give his children. One of the favourite things that my children say to me is, “silly Daddy.” This is because I am very silly sometimes. It’s true.
I really want my kids to grow up knowing that fun and laughter should be made a habit. It needs to be worked at especially if their personality doesn’t find it as natural as some. In our family Sophia is quite serious whereas Yasmin is always prepared to laugh at almost anything.
Mums tend to have the hard work of child raising. A part of a Dad’s role is to bring fun into the life of the family. It tempers the discipline that sometimes a Father has to enforce. And sometimes they need to give their wife the room to have fun with the kids too. I always find it amusing that even though I am the one who buys sweets when we are out and with me they tend to get things their own way that it still their mum that they turn to most of the time.
Our life has it share of difficulties. April and I have often reflected that the past 3 years have stretched us the most of the 14 years of our marriage. We have struggled financially, we have struggled in my work, we have found living in a new environment very disruptive. Yet we need to remember in the midst of this that we need to continue to have fun.
I like being the “silly daddy” who provides for my family.