Got a bit of time on your hands try this for a different approach to search:

Ms. Dewey 

Its a bit of fun but when I want information I want it fast. Google still does the job quickly and efficiently.

One thing that I can’t write about at the moment is time management. At the moment my time is managing me. My reading has been fairly sporadic and as a result I feel that I have had very little to say.

But, I did have a chance recently to hear on the radio an interesting comment on relationships and in particular the importance of a father, daughter relationship. There is undeniable evidence backed by solid research that the sort of relationship a father has with their kids impacts on the child’s future.

One of the things that stood out to me was the role a father has in their daughter’s life. I guess having three daughters and realising that more than likely in the future that one day they are going to be married made me very aware that the sort of relationship that I have with them now will prepare them to meet the right guy in the future.

What do I try to do to make sure that this happens:

– I try to spend time with them and ask them about their day.
– I pray with them every day.
– I listen to them
– I play with them
– I laugh with them
– I love their mother
– I am completely faithful to their mother
– I set boundaries for their behaviour

It was also mentioned that it is not the family structure that matters but the quality of the relationships within that structure. The premise is that the structure serves the relationships and not the other way around.

In saying this I realise that I am not the perfect father and I acknowledge that I am not always the perfect husband but I take seriously my role as a father.

It is interesting that when we talk about happiness we often will say, money can’t buy it.”

But if you trace this worldwide map of happiness it becomes very obvious that there is a correlation between wealth and happiness. I think that we tend to say it when we are in a position not to worry about meeting our everyday needs and we begin to think about our higher purposes. Time to do this only comes when we have enough money and spare time to contemplate such issues.

This is not to say that if we don’t have money we can’t be thinking about spirituality and the deeper meaning of life. It says to me though that the reason why so many of us are depressed is because we have realised the superficiality of our lives and the fact that money hasn’t changed that.

Our family has recently had some huge changes which may explain my lack of blogging lately. I know that I have talked about it but the reality of leaving my role as a pastor is really starting to sink in. I have hit the reality of being self employed with a rude awakening.

First Principle – If you don’t work you don’t earn any money. Not a big surprise and perhaps an obvious truth for many of us. Some of the immediacy of this can be hidden from behind the protective layers of sick pay, holiday pay and many of the other protective aspects of working for a wage.

So I have been working hard. Not because I think that I am getting rich but because of the tyranny of the urgent. I have been also working hard physically which has been a bit of a shock for my 42 year old body that hasn’t seen a lot of really hard work for quite a long time.

Second Principle – Hard physical work is good for the soul. It clears the mind of some of the trash and superfluous rubbish that can come in when we have the time and energy to indulge in such things. Lately I have got home and stayed awake till about 8.30 pm and then fallen into a very deep sleep.

Finally – there is life outside blogging, although I must admit I have missed it a lot. After not posting very regularly I realise  I have missed putting my thoughts down and sharing them with others.  I have also missed reading the thoughts of others and gaining from their insights.

New research indicates that people with cheerleader partners have a higher level of relationship satisfaction.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Vol. 91, No. 5), the way you respond to your partner’s good news is an important factor in relationship health.  The researchers found that research participants whose partners responded to their achievements in an energetic and constructive way (i.e.: “You really deserve that promotion, you’re going to do great!) reported higher levels of satisfaction.  Another important finding was that this cheerleading support was a better predictor of satisfaction in the relationship than compassionate response to disappointing news.

We live in a world where there is just so much negativity and sometimes it can filter into our marriages. Why not think about adding something positive to the most important relationship that you will have in this life. Be ready to affirm your partner’s success.

None of the material that follows is mine but I can identify with much of what is written.

The Career Manifesto

1. Unless you’re working in a coal mine, an emergency ward, or their equivalent, spare us the sad stories about your tough job. The biggest risk most of us face in the course of a day is a paper cut.

3. You are paid to take meaningful actions, not superficial ones. Don’t brag about that memo you sent out or how hard you work. Tell us what you achieved.

4. Although your title may be the same, the job that you were hired to do three years ago is probably not the job you have now. When you are just coasting and not thinking several steps ahead of your responsibilities, you are in dinosaur territory and a meteor is coming.

5. If you suspect that you’re working in a madhouse, you probably are. Even sociopaths have jobs. Don’t delude yourself by thinking you’ll change what the organization regards as a turkey farm. Flee.

6. Your technical skills may impress the other geeks, but if you can’t get along with your co-workers, you’re a litigation breeder. Don’t be surprised if management regards you as an expensive risk.

7. If you have a problem with co-workers, have the guts to tell them, preferably in words of one syllable.

8. Don’t believe what the organization says it does. Its practices are its real policies. Study what is rewarded and what is punished and you’ll have a better clue as to what’s going on.

9. Don’t expect to be perfect. Focus on doing right instead of being right. It will simplify the world enormously.

10.If you plan on showing them what you’re capable of only after you get promoted, you need to reverse your thinking.

There is so much truth in what is written here. It’s obviously a tongue in cheek but with a enough truth to make me think about the way that I work.

The ingredients of Kraft Guacomole.

WATER, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED COCONUT AND SOYBEAN OIL, CORN SYRUP, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE (FROM MILK), FOOD STARCH MODIFIED, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF POTATOES, SALT, AVOCADO, DEFATTED SOY FLOUR, MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE, TOMATOES, SODIUM CASEINATE, VINEGAR, LACTIC ACID, ONIONS, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL, GELATIN, XANTHAN GUM, CAROB BEAN GUM, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, SPICE, WITH SODIUM BENZOATE AND POTASSIUM SORBATE AS PRESERVATIVES, GARLIC, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, CITRIC ACID, YELLOW 6, YELLOW 5, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, BLUE 1, ARTIFICIAL COLOR.

How do we ever find the real thing?

1. Inspire – People like to be inspired and touched on an emotional level. Those who are able to overcome difficulties and encourage others to do the same are the bloggers that we will return to again and again.
2. Use Humor – It continues to be one of the main traits that will attract women and it works for bloggers too. Sometimes it’s links that go for the funny bone that are also popular. Keep seeing the funny side of life and the whole world will laugh with you.
3. Use lists. People tend to scan on the web. Lists enable people to decide if they want to read more. Its even better if you number your list it establishes priorities
4. Tell a story. My kids love me reading them a story. We never really grow out of this. However they need to be relatively brief when compared to traditional writing. Remember that a lot of people are scanning first so formatting is important.
5. Write a how to.

Sometimes I break all these rules simply because I can or I feel like it. Don’t worry if you aren’t always funny or always have an inspiring story to tell. Your story is important and your blog will be the unfolding of that story. Most important is to keep blogging. We need to hear your story.

It’s not the critic who counts, nor the one who points out how the strong man stumbles or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who if he fails at least fails while daring greatly, that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat. (Theodore Roosevelt)

Destructive criticism is meant to:

1. Hurt or humiliate and belittle…
2. Manipulate or control…
3. Blame or create guilt…
4. Get attention

Destructive criticism loses its helpfulness because of the damage it causes to the receiver. The beneficial truth is lost to that person because of the damage caused by the comments made. Destructive criticism usually is more about the insecurities of the criticizer than the reality of the comments given.

What not to do when facing criticism:

I am at the mercy of a man who can make me angry.

Aggression criticizing your critic right back. Two people can tear each other to shreds as attack and counterattacks can quickly escalate. No matter how unjust the criticism is just returning fire is rarely an effective way of effective dealing with the critic.

Backstabbing This approach gives the appearance of giving in but in fact you are just waiting to get your own back. For instance, you’re confronted about a problem with one of your workmates and you appear to go along with the boss’s suggestions for reconciliation. All the while you are planning your next opportunity to get back at that workmate for having the temerity to dob you in. This approach fails to deal with the criticism and does little to help either party.

Capitulation This means giving in completely to the critic. Many persistent critics are in fact emotional bullies. By just agreeing with the criticism, apologizing, promising to change your behaviour you can in fact make the problem worse. This is usually just what the critic wants to hear. Again and again! They learn what buttons to push and enjoy making your feel worthless. To make themselves strong, they have to make you weak. To keep control, they have to turn you into a child.

Constructive criticism is meant to:

• Help improve or make us aware…
• Express concern or caring…
• Keep communication open…
• Clear the air…
• Motivate us to make positive change

Step One – Hear the Truth

Criticism can be one of life’s finest shaping tools. The very nature of the word suggests that even though there may be some truth in what is said it will also contain a barb. But, listening to the critic is very effective when they have pointed out a real concern. The first thing to do when handling valid criticism is to accept it as true but not fall into exaggerated self-put downs and negative self-talk. Avoid over-apologizing for the error.

Often it can be more difficult receiving criticism from our friends. After all we expect our enemies to be hostile and to put us down. If the friendship is to be maintained it will mean working through our differences and building a stronger relationships. An enemy can be shrugged off and avoided but a true friendship requires commitment through the good and bad times, the nice and the harsh words.

Admitting the truth allows us to accept our mistakes and faults without apologizing for them.

Admitting the truth allows us to recognize mistakes as mistakes, without feeling like a bad person.

When admitting the truth, the goal is to get past this mistake or barrier. The truth will help heal relationships and enable the individual and group to become productive again.

Once we accept the mistake, we can move forward rather than become bogged down in depression and self-criticism. Others will accept us as we are and see us as fellow human beings.

Note:
Limit the criticism you’ll accept. We must how to limit the criticism we accept. Listen to certain people and all they will ever talk about are the negatives or how things should be done their way. Even if they are mostly right listen to them too much and it may prevent you from hearing strength of the hundred who are in agreement.

Seeing ourselves clearly is helped when?

We are secure in who we are: We need to have a sane estimate of our abilities. Our understanding of ourselves is to what others may have. Building a healthy self appreciation of our abilities is essential if we are to withstand a range of differing opinions of who we are. Paul goes on to say that rather than allowing the world to squeeze us into its mould that we are to allow God to remould us from within. We are always a work in progress.

We have learnt to laugh. It is those who take themselves too seriously that find the sharpest barbs in any comment. This attitude can turn a gentle reminder into a devastating putdown that can prevent us from moving forward. A healthy sense of humour can take the sting from what is said and turn it into a positive chance to gain a better appreciation of how other’s see us.

Don’t take it too personally: Assume that most people most of the time aren’t out to destroy us. Sometimes we may hear comments that weren’t intended for us to hear. Sometimes people just have to have a chance to vent themselves. If you are unfortunate enough to hear what they have said you may not be getting a clear picture of their true intentions.

Keep criticisms in perspective: Remember what we are really place on earth for. Remember your higher purpose and live for that at all times. Lives with integrity and you will discover that sooner or later your critics will be disarmed.

Everywhere I go around the blogosphere there are people who don’t like this guy. I don’t know him from a bar of soap so I can’t comment. But, he does have one of the most popular blogs on the web. He is doing this right. But, he has annoyed a lot of people around the blog world.

1. Is it just tall poppy syndrome?
2. OR is it the fact he isn’t a nice person?

Here is an interview that perhaps gives some insight….(read it here)

• The Web is 16 hasn’t it gone fast. read a brief history here…
• For a short history on the blogging Rebecca Blood’s post is great.

Here is a great quick self test to see how you are going. Get a free evaluation your current state of mind and whether you are really in control or not. I would think that this test could be done  on a weekly basis  to  give a quick check on how things are really going.

"You know when you're living your life on purpose  it is the type of lifestyle that follows after first finding out how to live a pleasurable or happy life"

I remember one significant time in my life when my dad said that I love you.

It was the day after the football grand final in my home town. This was significant not because of the fooball but because it was the first time that I got publicly drunk. And, I was very drunk. I was about 16.

I made a complete ass of myself. Not once but right throughout the day. This in a small country town was bound to get back to my parents. Especially because they are good church people and a lot of people took great pleasure in letting them know how bad their son was. The phone calls began early the day after, mostly from church people saying how sorry they were about what I had done.

This for my parents who are very private people was deeply shameful.

That afternoon dad picked me up from work. He said, “that was a very stupid thing that you did yesterday, Chris. But, we still love you very much.”

That day has stood out to me for 25 years because in the midst of all these other people thinking I was an idiot (they were right) my dad still loved me. I hope that I can be like him.

These are some of the key things I have learned from my dad:

1. Work hard – he is 71 and works three jobs not because he has to but because he enjoys himself. I admire his work ethic.
2. Don’t just say I love you – live it. In the story that I told at the beginning of this post what Dad said to me meant a lot but I know that everything Dad has done is an expression of his love for me. More than saying it he has lived it faithfully.
3. Be faithful to your wife – They have been married for over 40 years
4. Be interested in everything – Dad has his nose in everything. If he doesn’t know he will find out. Sometimes it drives you crazy but it keeps him alive
5. Keep learning – Dad is still willing to have a go at many things even starting a new career at 70. He hasn’t stopped learning yet

The things we say and do can have a profound effect on those closest to us. An impressive legacy is when the person who is responsible for bringing you into the world has also had one of the biggest positive impacts on who you are today. I am my own person now with my own family yet they are able to reap the benefits of the sort of Dad my dad is. My life is a testimony to the quality of his parenting.

How is this for honesty from a Yahoo executive’s recently leaked memo. This was reported in the Wall Street journal and has created a real buzz around the internet. From Brad Garlinghouse, Yahoo senior vice president.

The first part deals with what is wrong:

We lack a focused, cohesive vision for our company. We want to do everything and be everything — to everyone. We are scared to be left out. We are reactive instead of charting an unwavering course. We are separated into silos that far too frequently don’t talk to each other. And when we do talk, it isn’t to collaborate on a clearly focused strategy, but rather to argue and fight about ownership, strategies and tactics.

Our inclination and proclivity to repeatedly hire leaders from outside the company results in disparate visions of what winning looks like — rather than a leadership team rallying around a single cohesive strategy.

I’ve heard our strategy described as spreading peanut butter across the myriad opportunities that continue to evolve in the online world. The result: a thin layer of investment spread across everything we do and thus we focus on nothing in particular.

I hate peanut butter. We all should.

We lack clarity of ownership and accountability. The most painful manifestation of this is the massive redundancy that exists throughout the organization.

We lack decisiveness. Combine a lack of focus with unclear ownership, and the result is that decisions are either not made or are made when it is already too late.

What they need to do to change if they want to succeed in the future:

1. Focus the vision

a) We need to boldly and definitively declare what we are and what we are not.

b) We need to exit (sell?) non core businesses and eliminate duplicative projects and businesses.

2. Restore accountability and clarity of ownership

a) Existing business owners must be held accountable for where we find ourselves today — heads must roll,

b) We must thoughtfully create senior roles that have holistic accountability for a particular line of business (a variant of a GM structure that will work with Yahoo!’s new focus)

c) We must redesign our performance and incentive systems.

3. Execute a radical reorganization

a) The current business unit structure must go away.

b) We must dramatically decentralize and eliminate as much of the matrix as possible.

c) We must reduce our headcount by 15-20%.

Two principles that must be followed:

• Blow up the matrix.
• Kill the redundancies.

This sort of honesty is a sign of strength within Yahoo. And, it still has lots of strengths. As one of the big three on the internet along with Microsoft and Google it will be interestng to see how Yahoo defines itself in the future. The big three appear to be trying to do a lot of the same things a lot of the time and they are not always successful in their attempts.

I think that ultimately the web always is about communication and it will be those groups that can harness the largest voice that will continue to prosper in the future. Arrington in Tech Crunch says that underlying this honesty is the more familiar powerplay scenario among senior management.
Here is a quick take on his more cynical perspective on this honesty:

My guess is that Yahoo senior management has been discussing these types of changes for some time, and this may be a power move by Garlinghouse to get in front of the parade. If changes are made, he looks like a hero. If they aren’t, he can take credit for trying.

Either way, at this point, I don’t see how Semel and Garlinghouse can both remain at Yahoo. From what I’m hearing, Semel may be the one to lose. The WSJ reports that Yahoo COO Dan Rosensweig has put Garlinghouse in charge of a working group to review how the points in the memo can be put into action. Tech Crunch

It is amazing how quickly we are seeing the cycle of decay occur in businesses today. Yahoo is already having to deal with the realities of a irrelevant management structures and a bloated hierarchial structure that is no longer able to effectively meet the business challenges facing it today. In less than 10 years it has gone from a startup to whizz company to a lumbering behemouth struggling to take the next positive steps forward.