My child when you question faith’s cost,
And you consider the path that I have for you,
When you say the price is too high,
I say, “You are worth it”.
When you are told,
That your value is too low,
I will take your hand and show you,
Exactly how much you’re worth.

Come with me and listen to me,
First the words that you heard,
“You are not worthwhile”,
They are a lie,
They never come from me,
Learn to hear my voice,
I use words that will show your true worth.

I love you,
You are mine,
Your bear my shape,
I want you to know me,
I will be with you always.

Walk with me and learn my language,
At first it may sound a little strange,
I only speak truth,
That’s all you will ever hear from me.
Listen to it’s message,
It longs to restore,
My treasure to where it belongs.

by May Sarton
1
Have you not wounded yourself
And battered those you love
By sudden motions of evil,
Black rage in the blood
When the soul, premier danseur,
Springs toward a murderous fall?
The furies possess you.
2
Have you not surprised yourself
Sometimes by sudden motions
Or intimations of goodness,
When the soul, premier danseur,
Perfectly poised,
Could shower blessings
With a graceful turn of the head?
The angels are there.

Parker Palmer speaks of life’s paradox and the difficulties faced by many people in holding that tension everyday, he states that to avoid fragmentation we need, “the capacity to hold tensions creatively is the key to much that matters.” He describes the tension as arising from our need for either/or solutions that prevents us from finding a more peaceful way. The paradox faced by all is described well by May Sarton in the Angels and the Furies.

When hope smiles,
“Possible” is not a winsome regret,
It’s an opportunity,
That opens with a new day,
With the sunrise smiling back at me.

When hope smiles,
“Work” is not a drudgery,
It’s creativity,
Born from a Creator,
Well done his voice says to me.

I didn’t want to cry today,
But I wept as I thought of what was broken
Last year I was numb,
The pills helped me to function
In a foggy existence.
The pain was real
Masked by an artificial chemical imbalance
That allowed me to function,
In a fractured shadow of me,
At the end of every day –
I wondered if this was life,
Existing but shattered,
Wondering how it could be put together again.

Today I felt the pain,
That was there all along
An anniversary its chance to surface,
This pain is from living life,
the fog’s cloud lifted,
But, this means facing the divisions,
That led to a broken heart,
Broken open to experience love,
Love expressed in abundance
Fractured but healing
Emerging with new strength,
To face life with the courage.

Numb means lowered eyes,
Shame and failure
Courage looks life in the face,
And says; “There is better yet to come”.
I felt again hope’s embrace,
Touching my heart
that was broken open and shattered
To be reshaped
By love and trust and faith.

What does hope look like?

Smiles that start in my heart,
Songs that I feel in my stomach,
Shadows that cool the harsh light,
Rainbows where I know the end is close,
Dreams that are doused with love,
Ideas that are bigger than me,
Calling that knows my name.

The Walk

There is a path that I like to walk,
Especially in the morning,
Where I have a view from the mountain –
Over the valley, and on a clear day,
I can see to the horizon.

Each step refreshes my tiredness,
It’s a rhythm my soul loves,
Where my spirit sees each day,
The path that takes me to my deepest thoughts,
About God and life and love and pain.

Today on my familiar walk,
I discovered a new path,
That led me to a spring,
That I didn’t expect,
Time only allowed a brief glimpse,
But, tomorrow will give the chance,
To explore the path not yet travelled,
Today I learn to wait.

The Field – Time to Rest
Ploughed unceasingly,
It could no longer produce,
The crop required of its soil.

The field was left to fend for itself
Left – To creation’s care.
It held no value,
For those who believed they knew,
The purpose for what the field was intended.

Creation’s care appeared haphazard,
Planned out of chaos,
And, the result seemed worthless.
Worthless weeds, choking plants,
Thorny bristles repelling intruders.

It’s deeply furrowed landscape,
Slowly transformed,
By the storms with their floods of rain,
By the wind with its dusty blast.

From it’s mess of weeds and thorns
A fledgling took flight,
From its home where each year,
New life would come.

Creation’s plan in place again,
Time to rest,
Life continues in the way it was always intended.

Renewal
Hopeful, intimacy.
Forming ,feeling, loving.
Recovering what was,
Healed.

Joining Spirit and action,
Soul and work,
Heart and calling.

A shadow hastened by my path,
Dimming hope along it’s way,
Chased by a beam – its fleeting hold,
The shadow knew that it would quickly –
Be transformed by light.

The path viewed from the shadow,
With the light filtered ahead,
Knows that this brief shady moment,
Will be welcome respite,
That will help my journey today.

A shadow touched by light,
In sadness hope is restored,
Knowing the path that once was dimmed,
Gives the shadow a new perspective,
Light touching sadness becomes hope again.

Visited by Sadness

Recently in the midst of a really happy time I was visited by the shadow of depression. A year ago I was in the midst of depression from which I thought I would never emerge. This more recent brief touch was a reminder of its darkness. For those who have experienced depression they would know its debilitating effects. I think the most common expression that I have heard is that it’s like a fog, or life become a shadow of what it should be.

I wrote “A shadow touched by light”, to seek to understand this brief shadow and to reflect on where it began for me. I think it came from a sense of sadness over the brokenness that we all need to live with and the unease with the paradox of wanting to restore what was. However, I know that brokenness is not restored by repeating what was but by having the courage to create something new.
As I allowed the light to touch this knowing I was able to emerge into a place of hope again.

What does it take
To begin again
To share life
To love deeply
To celebrate joy
To embrace today
To live hopefully?

Perhaps the courage
To let be
What was always intended to be.

Each day I desire to see light,
It flits through the shadows,

I see it,
Then shadows overtake,
I reach out to grasp it,
The shadows quickly cover its rays,
My hands close on nothing.

Each day brings light and shadow,
Living in the shadows for too long,
Makes me fearful of light.

Life brings new shadows each day,
I seek to be light,
But, my light is a quickly dimmed,

My shadow is fear,
Each day brings new fears.

Spring’s breath,
I felt it’s first whisper,
This morning,
When growing tired of winter’s voice,
A glimmer of warmth,
Fresh hope emerging,
Of rebirth, new hope,
Its voice at first faint,
But, then with growing strength,
A bud emerges,
Life is born.

Spring’s beauty,
I see it’s fresh bloom,
New life,
Beauty pushing outwards,
Spoken by a creator’s words,
The clear voice,
Calling quietly, but I heard,
Drawing me to,
Loving creation’s sounds, offering,
Life and love,
Rebirth begins.

Where does my soul dwell,
Was my constant wonder as a child,
I knew it was that inner part of me,
That was God’s most precious gift,
But, for a time I gave my soul,
For a price that was both
Too low and far too high
Given to something that could never return,
Such a precious gift, then wasted,
Because, I gave it to something,
That could never appreciate,
It’s true eternal value.
Until it was lost I didn’t know,
And then, I realised what was wisely said,
What does it profit a man – whose soul is lost
My life lived with a gaping hole.
That should be filled by learning how to be.

But, today my soul is restored,
to that place known by God and I.
I took it from the one that it belonged,
When I kept the gift for myself,
What was intended to free, instead,
Was a burden that weighed me down,
A price that was both,
Too low and far too high,
The debt was my soul’s weariness,
The cost that threatened life itself,
But, when life’s true value is renewed,
My soul once more returned,
To its home that promises,
No gain in this world – rather eternal rest,
My soul is found where my inner yearning,
That gaping hole Is filled with love,
As I learn to rediscover all I am meant to be.

Be here
Be now
Be strong
Be hopeful
Be free
Be Loved

When the cloud touches the mountain,
And evening arrives early,
When daylight is overtaken by,
the fog’s clinging haze,
The light – succumbs to shadows,
Darkness oozes in,
The light gives way to gray,
Constricting what is seen,
The view ahead is limited,
By the thick enveloping blanket,
that dims the light ahead,
It blurs behind the darkness,
Fog clinging to all it sees.

The fog’s haze meets with me,
Both from the outside and looking in,
Life battles my situation,
That seeks to take away,
My hope – is crushed by anxiety,
Despair is lived each day,
My creativity is limited,
By the fog’s shadows,
Covering all I do and say,
I seek to catch a glimpse,
Of what will come today,
But, my vision is limited
By the fog that lies within.

I know the fog will visit,
For a time and then will leave,
It’s clinging dimness struggling,
Against the sun rays clearing,
To the emerging day,
That opens a brighter, loving way,
It is transparent and surprising,
Because of where it came,
Shadows highlight light,
To show the path ahead,
My sight renewed, refreshed,
No longer am I limited,
By the fog’s brief touch with me.