From Marianne Williamson

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

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What are some of the things that I can do to set personal goals and encourage myself to achieve some of the goals that I would like to?

1. Talk to others about their ideas to gain inspiration
2. Create an environment regularly for reflection. For example keep a journal, take a regular walk or bike ride, read books, sit without watching TV or listening to the radio or watching a movie
3. Set out what do you want to achieve.

i. What is essential. These are your short term goals (Pay bills, holiday)

ii. What you would like to achieve in the future. These are your medium to long term goals ( a better job, retire at 50, buy my own business)

iii. Map an achievable plan to achieve your goals (How much you need to earn, study, business plan etc.)

iv. Do it!! Don’t put your plans off any longer start implementing your plans because this is the only way that they will happen.

Technorati Tags : goals, vision, achievement

Almost every self help book begins with setting goals to the point where it almost becomes a cliché. This is not intended to be a self help book but an aid to finding freedom particularly in our finances. However an interesting byproduct of financial freedom is the discovery of many other new freedoms in your life.

A number of years ago I worked and lived with several heroin addicts. These people were at a stage where they wanted to change. They were fed up with a meaningless and aimless life in which they would probably die. What I discovered was that the addictions were not their real problem. Usually there was some part of their lives that they had found so unsatisfying that an escape into drugs seemed to be their only option. Once they were addicted they were totally committed to that habit. Their lives revolved around the next fix or how they were going to get the next lot of drugs. To change required replacing that passion with something new. That change to be effective needed to be totally life encompassing. It meant removing themselves from that environment and replacing it with a new one that gave them the freedom to be themselves without the aid of drugs.

In many ways that is what we need to do if we are to find freedom and flow in life. Our lives need to be ruled by some new order. We need to replace hopelessness with hope.

Tim Costello quotes Ivan Illich an advocate of the poor in South America. He was asked what the most powerful way to change a society. Illich response was this,

“Neither revolution nor reformation can ultimately change a society. Rather you must tell a new and powerful tale, one so pervasive that it sweeps away the old myths and becomes the preferred story, one so inclusive that it gathers all the bits from the past and our present into a coherent whole, one that even shines some light into the future so that we can take the next step forward”.

I believe this is also true for us as individuals. We need to gather our lives so far into a coherent whole and then begin to create a new story for our lives. Once we begin this process we can then begin to make progress.

Viktor Frankl a psychologist was imprisoned in a German concentration camp during the second world war. During this time he had the chance to observe human behaviour set in the most awful of conditions. He observed that when faced with the same conditions that people responded in different ways. Some were able to rise above their circumstances and others were enveloped by them and gave up in despair. He also observed that even in a concentration camp there were those who were happy.

He concluded from this experience that:

“Happiness is never achieved as an end in itself. It is always a by product of either: giving yourself to a higher cause or giving yourself to another in love”.

Technorati Tags : priorities, work, balance, success, happiness

Stephen Covey in “First Things First” first chapter asks, “How many people on their death bed wish they’d spent more time at the office?” In this chapter he describes the tension that most of us feel between what we want to do and our responsibilities. I feel certain responsibilities as a Father, as a husband and as a member of society to contribute in worthwhile ways. Sometimes I feel that life is more about survival than the fulfillment of some of the things that I consider more worthwhile.

This dilemma was reflected in a recent conversation with a friend of mine said he was too busy at work. His weekly routine meant being there for up to 90 hours a week trying to keep things going at work. I said to him, “but don’t most people spend at least 90 hours a week doing something? Most of us sleep for around 42 to fifty hours a week and the rest of it we are doing some activity or the other.”

I went on, “What I think you’re saying is that you are not happy with the way that your spending your time.”

My friend’s dilemma demonstrated to me the way many people perceive the way that they spend time. A lot of people think that each week they are not spending enough time doing what they really want to do. Locked in a vicious cycle of meeting financial commitments to maintain a certain standard of living life becomes a drudgery of working to maintain and gain things that are ultimately viewed as not having much value. Or we have no boundaries that divide ourselves from our work therefore work overtakes who we are. We find that we can’t so no to new demands on our time or finances because we always say yes. Our attitude to retirement further reflects this tension we feel. Retirement becomes the opportunity to do the things that they want to do when freed from the tyranny of having to work. It is disappointing that we have to wait to the end of our life before we believe that we can start doing this.

In an American study of people over the age of 90 they were asked what three things they would change if they could have their lives over? The following three statements came up most often:

• They’d reflect more – That is they would take more opportunities to step out the daily grind to thoughtfully examine the meaning and purpose of their lives. In doing this they would ensure that their energy was expended on worthwhile pursuits.
• They’d risk more – Given their choice these elderly people would have taken more opportunities to step out of their comfort zone. They would take risks to explore more of what life offers and not accept that life was a rut.
• They’d invest more in things that will outlast themselves –

Jack Nicholoson in the movie as good as it get plays an obsessive compulsive man who lives to have everything in order. His neighbour’s intrusions aggravate him. He gets so frustrated that he bursts into his psychiatrists waiting room and says to the group, “Maybe this is as good as it gets.”

Maybe there is an element of truth in that statement. There are some things that we can’t change. More than likely I will turn 40 in a few months time. I won’t be able to do some of the things that I used to do in my 20’s and 30’s. I probably won’t become a millionaire by the time that I’m 45. I will have to support a wife and three children for at least the next 20 years.
What I can do is change my attitude to these things. The questions that I have been asking are from the wrong perspective. They encourage a negative perspective on my future, my ability to earn an income, the reasons why I earn and income and my attitude to work.
Rather than wondering how my life is half over I should be celebrating the experiences I have had so far. Instead of thinking that opportunities might be limited I can begin to embrace the future. My working life is half over but I can begin to capitalize on the experience that I have gained over the past 25 years of work. Financial freedom may not be found in having a better paying job or winning a million dollars but in changing my attitude to money.
Are they empowering questions or do they reflect confusion about what is important?

• How can you turn these questions around?
• Try rephrasing some of these to approach them positively?

At forty life isn’t over yet. I sometimes think that my working life is nearly over. Yet logically I have another 25 years or more to constructively contribute and earn an income. There is still a future. We have to take control of that future and begin to shape it in a way that allows us to discover freedom.

Technorati Tags : priorities, work,Covey, balance

Four basic human needs

“To live, to learn, to love, to leave a legacy”

1. Life isn’t over yet

In the movie Wall Street Gordon Gecko is played by Michael Douglas. He is a cunning unprincipled multi-millionaire corporate raider. One day he speaks to a meeting of spellbound shareholders who are worried about a takeover bid. He declares,

‘……ladies and gentlemen, greed for the lack of a better word is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed in all its forms – greed for life, for money, for love, for knowledge – has marked the upward surge of mankind …..’

Later in the film, Gordon’s friend Bud asks, ‘Tell me, Gordon where does it all end? ……..how many yachts can you water-ski behind? How much is enough?

Thoreau the philosopher said that “most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” In my conversations with my peers I hear this desperation expressed often. They suspect that the endless accumulation of things isn’t quite enough. And as we rapidly approach middle age there is a sense of unease that perhaps we won’t quite measure up. That we have missed the main thing and that our chances to get it right are rapidly passing us by.

I recently was talking to a friend who was expressing his dissatisfaction with life. In his mid forties he is moderately successful in business. He has a small business that he runs very efficiently, he has a loving wife, his family are rapidly growing the eldest two successful in their chosen fields and the younger three progressing well in their schools. In most ways his life looks together yet he constantly says, “There must be something more?”

What’s wrong with Steve? He feels that he should be earning more. He feels that his business should be bigger. That he should be driving a better car. Life hasn’t fulfilled the promise that it seemed to have in his twenties and thirties. He says that even beyond the financial side there is this unease that keeps gnawing at him and he’s not quite sure what to do about it.

His disquiet strikes a cord in me although it is not quite as fully developed. I too feel a growing sense of urgency within myself. I am nearly forty. I still don’t have a full time job. I am currently studying for a Master’s degree yet I’m not sure if even that will secure employment. I have three children aged three and under, this means that I will be sixty by the time that they might even think about leaving home. A friend told me that he never really started getting ahead financially until his kids had left home. That comment made me feel slightly sick in the stomach and I felt that sense of urgency once again. I will be left with approximately five years to save for my retirement which will not be nearly enough to save the $500 000 dollars or so that I will need to retire on.

Life has changed! I am no longer the care free adventurous young person I once was. I ask myself:

• What happened, who am I, where am I going?
• Have I wasted the first 25 years of my working life?
• Should I panic because we don’t own our own home?
• Is it too late at 42 to find financial freedom?