Chris Gribble

Be yourself - Everyone else is taken (Oscar Wilde)

What makes guacamole, guacomole

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The ingredients of Kraft Guacomole.

WATER, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED COCONUT AND SOYBEAN OIL, CORN SYRUP, WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE (FROM MILK), FOOD STARCH MODIFIED, CONTAINS LESS THAN 2% OF POTATOES, SALT, AVOCADO, DEFATTED SOY FLOUR, MONOSODIUM GLUTAMATE, TOMATOES, SODIUM CASEINATE, VINEGAR, LACTIC ACID, ONIONS, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN OIL, GELATIN, XANTHAN GUM, CAROB BEAN GUM, MONO- AND DIGLYCERIDES, SPICE, WITH SODIUM BENZOATE AND POTASSIUM SORBATE AS PRESERVATIVES, GARLIC, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, CITRIC ACID, YELLOW 6, YELLOW 5, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR, BLUE 1, ARTIFICIAL COLOR.

How do we ever find the real thing?

Money isn’t everything

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We all know that is true. But we were given a couple of passes for us to go to a children’s expo in our city. It was supposed to have lots of fun things for kids to do.

We decided that we would go. We didn’t want to explain to the person that it would be difficult for us to afford the extra money to pay for the kids (the passes were only for the adults) so we decided for once that we would put it on credit (we never do this normally).

When we get there we find that we have to pay $5 cash for parking. This is not normally charged. Luckily we did have this on us.

But, we find at the ticket boot with it’s mile long line that they were only taking cash. This too was unusual. This precluded us from going in. We felt a bit disappointed plus we wasted $5 on parking for about 10 mins time.

We decided that we would take the kids to a park. We had a packed lunch already for the day at the Convention centre so we made the day into a picnic. Then we played in the playground and went for a walk. This also meant a lot of playing around together.

Even though we felt disappointed I don’t think the kids felt the slightest bit neglected. In fact they had a great time.

April and I talked on the way home and reflected on this. We are not poor, but we don’t have lots of spare cash. Like most families we need to watch how we spend our money. We tend to live simply. Ultimately it comes down to priorities. For us it is ensuring the kids can go to a good school and that we can spend time with them. This means that I make sacrifices in my career and that April doesn’t work.

When I think about the relationship that I have with my kids it is more than worth it.

What happens when things go wrong

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You have to say sorry. Thank goodness we are seeing the other side of what happens when things go wrong as well. When our leading lights stuff it up. From Mel Gibson, to Kramer to back home in Australia people are making mistakes.

Then unless we have forgotten just recently Mel Gibson’s meltdown and his need for a huge public apology. I am not sure if Glenn Milne has yet reached the level of humility displayed by Mel. Really self justification as this article sounds like suggests that the lesson has not really be learned properly yet. None of us needs to flog ourselves for the rest of our life for a mistake but all of us need to go beyond dealing with the surface issues.

Glen blaming mixing alcohol with medication may be partly the cause of his actions. But really what we saw was the action of a very angry man. None of that anger is properly faced it is simply justified. Sure he may have been upset by the way that he has been treated but how many careers and lives have been ruined because of inaccurate reporting by the Australian media.

What is the way forward in such a situation? Forgiveness. We all have to let it go and get on with life. I felt sorry for Glenn Milne. His antics on the stage were not acts of greatness. But they did make him vulnerable and where that vulnerability goes will be the measure of his future greatness.

The same is true for any Hollywood star or even a mere mortal such as myself.

Five tips on how to write a great blog

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1. Inspire – People like to be inspired and touched on an emotional level. Those who are able to overcome difficulties and encourage others to do the same are the bloggers that we will return to again and again.
2. Use Humor – It continues to be one of the main traits that will attract women and it works for bloggers too. Sometimes it’s links that go for the funny bone that are also popular. Keep seeing the funny side of life and the whole world will laugh with you.
3. Use lists. People tend to scan on the web. Lists enable people to decide if they want to read more. Its even better if you number your list it establishes priorities
4. Tell a story. My kids love me reading them a story. We never really grow out of this. However they need to be relatively brief when compared to traditional writing. Remember that a lot of people are scanning first so formatting is important.
5. Write a how to.

Sometimes I break all these rules simply because I can or I feel like it. Don’t worry if you aren’t always funny or always have an inspiring story to tell. Your story is important and your blog will be the unfolding of that story. Most important is to keep blogging. We need to hear your story.

Church Almagamation – Year Two

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ctchurch

We spent 9 years of our life in a small country town in North Queensland called ChartersTowers. These are my memories of the people and events that were a part of our life during that time.

What we are also hearing is that today is also a day of post denominationalism. That is more and more people are choosing a church because of the way that it meets their needs rather than the particular brand that it carries. Within denominations we are seeing a broader spectrum of worship styles, etc that are a reflection of the local community and not the church label.

This post denominationalism is also far more difficult to see in a rural community. In these communities family connections that may extend back generations tie many of the members of churches to their denomination. Others may come and go but these people are often very hard to shift. There is not the same range of choices that is available in city areas. Most people are Pentecostal, Conservative or Orthodox and in most country towns there is only one each of these.

In fact when living in Charters Towers in 1990 while a part of a mission team I was a member of the Baptist Church and April a member of the Church of Christ. Prior to coming to Charters Towers we were members of the Anglican Church in Emerald. It was only when I began as the Church of Christ pastor that my membership was transferred to the Church of Christ.

Once more we began to here talk of joining the Baptists. It required a lot of discussion and the forming of a new committee. (The foundation of church existence) I often found the issues that were raised nit picking and of little relevance to the Kingdom of God. I also realised that this was a necessary part of bringing people along for the journey rather than forcing a conclusion on them.

Sorting through the details was a slow tedious process. What we did discover was that there was very little that separated us. Most of the traditional differences in the denominations were no longer relevant. One of our biggest hurdles was getting any sort of real interest from our governing bodies. It seemed there were always more pressing issues that had to be dealt with.

We decided that beginning in the new year we would trial an amalgamation of the two churches. Services would be alternated between our two buildings. My support changed again. During the year the Baptists agreed to support me as the full time minister. The cost of my wages was shared between the two churches. This meant a reshuffling of my schedule. What really happened was that I kept most of the things I previously was doing and added the full time load of ministry on top of that.

Dealing with close minded people

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This is one of Steve’s most helpful posts in a long time. We all have them in our lives, people who won’t listen. I would like to add my two cents worth to this in the near future but Steve has set the ball rolling when he starts by challenging the position that many of us take when we meet resistance. How can you intelligently deal with people who are close-minded, totally stubborn in their beliefs and unreceptive to new ideas? Steve Pavlina


It’s all about ego. And the key word is intelligence. How quickly do our brains go and our emotions take over when our ego is challenged. In any situation I could be wrong. That is a fairly daunting prospect to apprehend.

Vision – Creating a picture for the future

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“I have a dream” Martin Luther King

I once asked the founder of the organization in which I worked how he defined vision. He told me it is something that continually eats away at you until you have to make it happen.

When he became a Christian there was no support for young people who needed to be discipled. This lack gnawed away at him until he finally collaborated with a farmer in western New South Wales to create a small community in which young people could study, be mentored, reflect and work to contribute to their board and tuition. Out of this idea has developed an organization in which hundreds of young people have been discipled and gone onto greater Christian service.

Vision is more than just coming up with a good idea. Most of us have plenty of these. It is about enduring the hardships of the journey and to encourage and take others on that journey as well. From both the animal and human studies, we know there are critical developmental windows in the first years of life. Sensory and motor skills are formed, and if this early opportunity is lost, trying to play catch up is hugely frustrating and mostly unsuccessful.

Prof. Zajoc writes of studies which investigated recovery from congenital blindness. Thanks to cornea transplants, people who had been blind from birth would suddenly have functional use of their eyes. Nevertheless, success was rare. Referring to one young boy, the world does not appear to the patient as filled with the gifts of intelligible light, color, and shape upon awakening from surgery,Zajoc observes. Light and eyes were not enough to grant the patient sight. The light of day beckoned, but no light of mind replied within the boy’s anxious, open eyes.

Zajoc quotes from a study by a Dr. Moreau who observed that while surgery gave the patient the power to see,the employment of this power, which as a whole constitutes the act of seeing, still has to be acquired from the beginning. Dr. Moreau concludes, To give back sight to a congenitally blind person is more the work of an educator than of a surgeon.To which Zajoc adds, The sober truth remains that vision requires far more than a functioning physical organ. Without an inner light, without a formative visual imagination, we are blind, he explains. That inner light the light of the mind must flow into and marry with the light of nature to bring forth a world. (National Right to Life News, March 30, 1993, p. 22)

Martin Luther King’s statement I have a dream,saw a better world. But he also shared with people the pain of the journey to that dream. Even though the American constitution declared the liberty and freedom of all people this was not a reality in the American south. Martin Luther King paid for his vision with his life but his shared journey with other African Americans allowed for significant progress to be made in the breaking down of racist barriers.

Warren Bennis said this after his study of organisations,

In every case where they had reached epiphanies, there was a leader who was able to enrol people in an exciting, insanely significant vision. Someone who was capable of reeling in the advocates and supporters to work with him or her. They all believed that they could make a dent in the universe.(1997)

The signs of an effective organisational vision for this learning context will be evident in its followers. Secondly the question must be asked at all levels are people learning? It will be the leadership vision and effective management of the vision that will enable your organization to achieve new goals.

Bennis (1997) also states what leaders must create is the social architecture that encourages people to work together successfully. The difficulty facing leadership is to harness egos to unleash the potential that is available. For an organisation such as the church the social structure must extent beyond superficial social niceties and be channelled into the practical aspects of fulfilling its vision. The social architecture will be constructed through its reorganisation as a learning organisation in which each of its participants becomes a contributing learner.

In such a structure the leadership and the members are repositioned. The leaders are not permitted any pedestals and the learners are asked to step up to their responsibilities. The outcome will be a group of people with a shared philosophy who are able to work together to achieve effective outcomes.

John Maxwell suggests some of the following ideas if an environment is to be created that will encourage others to take hold of a vision:

  • Come alongside them There are different levels of leadership that a leader can have. At the bottom level is designated authority. This is where people follow because of your assigned position and they have no choice. At the highest level is that of personhood/respect. At this level you have developed followers who are loyal and sacrificial. They are this way because they have seen you demonstrate sacrificial and loyal leadership to them.
  • Paint a picture for them. This picture should set new horizons for the individuals in the organisation; it should give hope; it should be challenging; it should provide freedom; the journey is important; it should provide a path to the ultimate goal; they should be able to see your total commitment to the vision. (Maxwell,J)
  • Put it into context . Shaller says that the most effective leaders are those that understand and adopt the values of the group that they join.
  • There is a big difference between one’s personal vision and implementing a corporate vision. A personal vision will not change an organization and belongs to the leader alone. A leader must be able to rise above themselves and to see the future through other people’s perspective.

How to cope with criticism

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It’s not the critic who counts, nor the one who points out how the strong man stumbles or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who if he fails at least fails while daring greatly, that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat. (Theodore Roosevelt)

Destructive criticism is meant to:

  1. Hurt or humiliate and belittle…
  2. Manipulate or control…
  3. Blame or create guilt…
  4. Get attention

Destructive criticism loses its helpfulness because of the damage it causes to the receiver. The beneficial truth is lost to that person because of the damage caused by the comments made. Destructive criticism usually is more about the insecurities of the criticizer than the reality of the comments given.

What not to do when facing criticism:

I am at the mercy of a man who can make me angry.

Aggression criticizing your critic right back. Two people can tear each other to shreds as attack and counterattacks can quickly escalate. No matter how unjust the criticism is just returning fire is rarely an effective way of effective dealing with the critic.

Backstabbing This approach gives the appearance of giving in but in fact you are just waiting to get your own back. For instance, you’re confronted about a problem with one of your workmates and you appear to go along with the boss’s suggestions for reconciliation. All the while you are planning your next opportunity to get back at that workmate for having the temerity to dob you in. This approach fails to deal with the criticism and does little to help either party.

Capitulation This means giving in completely to the critic. Many persistent critics are in fact emotional bullies. By just agreeing with the criticism, apologizing, promising to change your behaviour you can in fact make the problem worse. This is usually just what the critic wants to hear. Again and again! They learn what buttons to push and enjoy making your feel worthless. To make themselves strong, they have to make you weak. To keep control, they have to turn you into a child.

Constructive criticism is meant to:

  • Help improve or make us aware…
  • Express concern or caring…
  • Keep communication open…
  • Clear the air…
  • Motivate us to make positive change

Step One – Hear the Truth

Criticism can be one of life’s finest shaping tools. The very nature of the word suggests that even though there may be some truth in what is said it will also contain a barb. But, listening to the critic is very effective when they have pointed out a real concern. The first thing to do when handling valid criticism is to accept it as true but not fall into exaggerated self-put downs and negative self-talk. Avoid over-apologizing for the error.

Often it can be more difficult receiving criticism from our friends. After all we expect our enemies to be hostile and to put us down. If the friendship is to be maintained it will mean working through our differences and building a stronger relationships. An enemy can be shrugged off and avoided but a true friendship requires commitment through the good and bad times, the nice and the harsh words.

Admitting the truth allows us to accept our mistakes and faults without apologizing for them.

Admitting the truth allows us to recognize mistakes as mistakes, without feeling like a bad person.

When admitting the truth, the goal is to get past this mistake or barrier. The truth will help heal relationships and enable the individual and group to become productive again.

Once we accept the mistake, we can move forward rather than become bogged down in depression and self-criticism. Others will accept us as we are and see us as fellow human beings.

Note:
Limit the criticism you’ll accept. We must how to limit the criticism we accept. Listen to certain people and all they will ever talk about are the negatives or how things should be done their way. Even if they are mostly right listen to them too much and it may prevent you from hearing strength of the hundred who are in agreement.

Seeing ourselves clearly is helped when?

We are secure in who we are: We need to have a sane estimate of our abilities. Our understanding of ourselves is to what others may have. Building a healthy self appreciation of our abilities is essential if we are to withstand a range of differing opinions of who we are. Paul goes on to say that rather than allowing the world to squeeze us into its mould that we are to allow God to remould us from within. We are always a work in progress.

We have learnt to laugh. It is those who take themselves too seriously that find the sharpest barbs in any comment. This attitude can turn a gentle reminder into a devastating putdown that can prevent us from moving forward. A healthy sense of humour can take the sting from what is said and turn it into a positive chance to gain a better appreciation of how other’s see us.

Don’t take it too personally: Assume that most people most of the time aren’t out to destroy us. Sometimes we may hear comments that weren’t intended for us to hear. Sometimes people just have to have a chance to vent themselves. If you are unfortunate enough to hear what they have said you may not be getting a clear picture of their true intentions.

Keep criticisms in perspective: Remember what we are really place on earth for. Remember your higher purpose and live for that at all times. Lives with integrity and you will discover that sooner or later your critics will be disarmed.


A gift of love from the heart

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One of the most profound words of wisdom that I ever heard regarding self development was that the first step was to get out and help someone else. This insight helped me to identify that the key to fulfillment and happiness was to discover a higher purpose than our own needs and desires.

Steve Pavlina describes this in a recent post when he says, But when I focus on serving others, it’s like I’m plugging into a much more powerful battery. Energy flows through me instead of from me.

This is very true. I remember that April and I were given such a gift when on our honeymoon. We were eating our lunch in a busy shopping centre. There were no other tables left but we had a spare chair at our table. There was a well dressed lady with a plate of food who was obviously looking for somewhere to sit. We invited her to sit at our table.

During the course of our meal we chatted with her. We had very little money at that stage of our life and but were very happy with our purpose. This lady had lots of money but described a life that was full of unhappiness. When we finished we went our separate ways.

April and I got onto a train to go to our next destination. A couple of stops further along the lady that we shared lunch with go onto the train. She recognised April and I and sat with us. She got up to leave at the next stop but as she did she handed us a large sum of money. It was enough to allow us to be able to enjoy some nice things on our honeymoon.

This demonstrated the power of being able to share our hearts with someone else. We may not always receive a financial reward but there will always be a positive benefit when share in this way. We received from this lady a gift of love and all it required was for her to experience our heart response to her situation

Thanks Steve for reminding me of that special moment in our lives. The post is spot on and a reminder that although most of the world will tell us that the most important person in the world is me that this is not the whole truth. Sure we have to care for ourselves but we must never forget that we are social beings designed to contribute to the greater good of all of us.

Great Tips for finding happiness etc.

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When looking for my daily dose of a positive affirmation this post came up:

  • Use applied faith – faith in the moment of any given situation that there is a seed of opportunity or growth
  • Trust the process of life
  • Set your intent wisely. Intention is very powerful and it organizes the power with in the field of pure potentiality
  • Center yourself by relaxing the body and calming the mind
  • Increase self-awareness by practicing mindfulness – present moment focus
  • read the rest here….

I especially liked the last one which was to create a sacred space in your home. We live in one of the most beautiful places in the world and I sometimes forget to take the time to appreciate it.

backyard
This is my backyard.

Life Coaching – Future Directions

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In human development childhood implies a dependence on others for all of the child’s needs. It cannot exist without the support of others and requires a healthy adult perspective to allow the child to gain a correct understanding of its world. Correct childhood development is also seen as vital for the future health of the individual. To grow to be a healthy adult requires the correct diet, discipline and love. As an industry coaching is very much in its childhood and at this point leans heavily on a range of disciplines from which it gains its understanding of the world. Its composition is new in meeting the changing educational and work needs of today’s generation.

In its current entrepreneurial stage there is little regulation and often conflicting methodologies. Many aspects of coaching have been around for a long time. Others seem to rest on a great deal of hype and a bit of snake oil. For example Robbin’s seminars allow his participants to walk on hot coals. This exercise’s long term benefits are questionable and in the short term may just be simply dangerous.

Surrounding the current crop of coaching stars there is much hype and perhaps overstating of actual gains that are possible. Being part evangelist and part management guru places enormous pressure on the super coaches to produce results. They do not usually appear obligated to produce empirical results rather relying on a long list of anecdotal testimonials. These usually say more about the person than their methodology and results. The implication for the everyday coach is that they may also feel obligated to overstate the possible benefits from engaging a coach to assist them in some area of their life.

Whether from one of the super coaches or less well known names there is a plethora of literature available for the aspiring coach or a person desiring to be coached. Many follow fairly familiar well worn paths that have not varied much from such success icons as Norman Vincent Peale’s, The Power of Positive Thinking, or Dale Carnegies, How to Win Friends and Influence People

As long as coaching was practiced as an extension of the North American self help movement, it seemed justified to be content with anecdotal evidence that coaching processes work.In the 21st century, given the above tenets, this stance on the ROI of coaching is becoming less and less justifiable. It is also less and less welcomed by organisations looking for explicit proof of coaching effectiveness. If behaviour change is indeed one of the foremost goals of coaching, then neglecting findings on behaviour and the developmental roots of behaviour is a risky course of action indeed.

The current immaturity of this industry allows the title of coach to be attached to anyone who so desires. This situation is untenable and will require future coaches to be involved in considerable upskilling if professionalism is to be attained in the industry. Some concern must be expressed at the damage that may occur if coaches without a strong ethical and professional framework offer advice that is outside their personal limitations. By nature the claims that a coach must make if they are to be regarded as effective can lead to overstatement of their capabilities. Such claims could lend itself to the coaches giving erroneous advice and the exaggerated participants expectations of s success.

Future implications for coaching

  • Recognised post graduate levels of coaching .This is already beginning with an increasing doctoral, masters, and undergraduate coaching qualifications being offered at recognised tertiary institutions.
  • Recognised professional level required to use the word coach. A coherent framework of ethic and professional standards is required and the current range of names coaches take on. Depending on one’s educational level and field of expertise a variety of terms are used to describe coaching.
  • Gale et al report that the titles most often used by coaches include Personal Coach, Executive Coach, Life Coach and Business Coach. Coaches with Master degrees most frequently refer to themselves as Business Coaches, Consultants, Executive Coaches, Personal Coaches, and Developmental Coaches; coaches with Bachelor degrees use the titles, Professional Coach, Mentor and Life Coach, and coaches with Doctoral degrees use the titles, Mentor and Developmental Coach most frequently. The wide variety of coach titles indicates indicate the different perceptions coaches have for their roles, the diversity of their emphasis and the lack of any framework for assuming the title of coach. This is indicated in the coaching world by many different names for what appear to be very similar intentions.
  • To simplify, and perhaps clarify the field of coaching, it seems necessary to significantly reduce the number of titles used by coaches, and at the very least, to define the differences between each title (Executive Summary Coaching Practices, Gale, Liljenstrand, Pardieu and Nebeker (2002)).
  • Effective tools researched and used.Coaching must move beyond the personal hype of the superstars that focuses on the coach. It must also reflect more personalisation than a simple computer based audit of one’s skills.
    Sydney University’s coaching unit incorporates a unit on the use of many such tools. They include the Myers Briggs assessment instrument. Etc.
  • Rigorous ongoing professional development for example if one specialised in the area of career coaching then it is to be expected that in the current rapidly changing work environment that there be ways to ensure currency in the coaching practice.

The coaching industry is at a critical stage. The determination of whether it is just a passing fad or the guarantee of its future success is likely because of the quality and professionalism of coaches and their ability to deliver demonstrable value to their clients. If coaching is to become a true profession, further research into the effectiveness, business benefits and value of different coaching methodologies is crucial.

Neil Offley, Programme Director at the NHS Leadership Centre, comments: ‘We hope that evaluation and research will help show how coaching can deliver real benefits, and overcome a perception of it being the latest fad.’ As the coaching market continues to grow and mature, a number of trends are likely to appear. Jerry Arnott, Managing Director of Origin Consulting, states:

‘I believe there will be a consolidation of coaching providers and increased regulation and standardisation across the market. This is long overdue and there are already signs of this evolution as the coaching profession begins to address the fundamental issues of ethics, standards, accreditation and quality.’ (Quoted from CIPD Buying Coaching Services p.15)

This will mean for many coaches the sacrificing of some of the current freedoms to serve the greater good of coaching as a developing profession. The adoption of measures such as accreditation, a code of ethics and accredited methodologies will eliminate the some of the current inconsistencies in the discipline.

Related Posts

Why does everyone dislike Michael Arrington? And other stuff

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Everywhere I go around the blogosphere there are people who don’t like this guy. I don’t know him from a bar of soap so I can’t comment. But, he does have one of the most popular blogs on the web. He is doing this right. But, he has annoyed a lot of people around the blog world.

  1. Is it just tall poppy syndrome?
  2. OR is it the fact he isn’t a nice person?

Here is an interview that perhaps gives some insight….(read it here)

Living life on purpose

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Here is a great quick self test to see how you are going. Get a free evaluation your current state of mind and whether you are really in control or not. I would think that this test could be done  on a weekly basis  to  give a quick check on how things are really going.

"You know when you're living your life on purpose  it is the type of lifestyle that follows after first finding out how to live a pleasurable or happy life"

Using the 4 Temperaments to help in your self understanding

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A contributing factor to how we handle stress is our temperament. This is something that is imprinted on our DNA and is a part of the picture that determines how we approach and deal with life. We all know of the types who can laugh at any situation and see the positives in everything that comes their way. Then there are those who face the same situation and may find it overwhelming and not be able to see any good whatsoever.

The original temperaments were developed by Hippocrates who developed it from a physiological theory of four basic body fluids (humours): blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile. According to their relative predominance in the individual, they were supposed to produce, respectively, temperaments designated sanguine (warm, pleasant), phlegmatic (slow-moving, apathetic), melancholic (depressed, sad), and choleric (quick to react, hot tempered).

There is some question as to the scientific validity of temperament theory that I would like to acknowledge. But, as you read through the temperaments we all will recognise people we know who are just like the description. There are also combinations of temperament that we all with have to some degree. This must also be a part of the context by which we use any such description. The description of the temperaments is only a tool to allow you to know yourself just that little bit better.

Finally a warning: Don’t allow your temperament to determine who you are. We are more than just the sum of a few personality traits and should look at a range of tools to contribute to the picture that we have of ourselves.

But in the meantime enjoy the unique qualities that you have and learn to enjoy the differences in others as you understand more those differences.

THE SANGUINE TEMPERAMENT Men and women with the sanguine temperament are warm, buoyant, and lively. They are naturally receptive, and external impressions easily find their way to their hearts. Their emotions rather than reflective thoughts are the basis of most of their decisions.

Sanguine types enjoy people, shy away from solitude, and are at their best when surrounded by friends, where they can take center stage. They have an endless repertoire of interesting stories to tell, making them fun to be around at parties or social gatherings.

Back when they were in high school, the sanguine types were voted “Most Likely to Succeed,” but they often fall short of this prediction because of weak wills. Sanguines who find themselves ineffective and undependable tend to become restless, undisciplined, egocentric, and emotionally explosive.

THE CHOLERIC TEMPERAMENT The choleric temperament is found in people who are hot, quick, active, practical, and strong-willed. They tend to be self-sufficient, independent, decisive, and opinionated, finding it easy to make decisions for themselves as well as for others.

Adversaries seldom frighten them; conversely, cholerics welcome the challenge because they want to prove they are right. They possess dogged determination and often succeed where others fail not because their plans are better than anyone else’s but because they push long after others have become discouraged and quit. These natural-born leaders will storm the hill or take on city hall. Their motto: Either lead, follow, or get out of the way.

The choleric’s emotional nature is the least developed part of their temperament. They do not suffer fools gladly, nor do they sympathize easily with others. Male cholerics are often embarrassed or disgusted by the sight of other men crying. They have little appreciation for the fine arts because their primary interests lie in the utilitarian values of life.

Cholerics, male or female, have a hard time with people skills. They don’t need babying or pampering, and it’s hard for them to adapt their styles to the needs of other people. Cholerics are difficult folks to live with. They can come across as hot-tempered, cruel, impetuous, and self-sufficient. The person with this temperament is often more appreciated by friends and associates than by members of his or her family.

THE MELANCHOLY TEMPERAMENT Melancholy people are often dark, moody individuals prone to analyzing everything to death. Nonetheless, they can be self-sacrificing, gifted perfectionists with sensitive emotional natures. That’s why many of the world’s great artists, musicians, inventors, philosophers, and educators have been of the melancholy temperament.

These self-described introverts come hardwired with a variety of moods dominated by their emotions. Sometimes melancholics’ moods will lift them to heights of ecstasy (“I just loved the new Julia Roberts movie!”), but five minutes later, they can become gloomy and depressed (“I just can’t seem to snap out of it”). If this occurs, spouses need to watch out. Withdrawn melancholics can be quite antagonistic and hard on a marriage.

When they’re in a good mood, melancholics are your best buddies and friends. Unlike sanguine men and women, however, they do not make friends easily. Melancholics are initially reserved when meeting people, preferring for new acquaintances to come to them. They are perhaps the most dependable of all the temperaments because their perfectionist tendencies do not permit them to let others down.

Melancholics have an uncanny ability to figure out what to do when obstacles are placed in their paths. If a project needs to be completed within a seemingly impossible time frame, you can be sure a melancholic will find a way. This foresight contrasts sharply with cholerics, who rarely anticipate problems but are confident they can handle anything that comes their way.

THE PHLEGMATIC TEMPERAMENT Everyone loves to be around those with phlegmatic temperaments. They act calm, cool, and collected. They travel through life in the slow lane, content to take it easy. Life for phlegmatic people is one happy, pleasant experience after another, which is why they avoid entanglements with others as much as possible.

Phlegmatic types seldom get ruffled. They are the types who rarely express anger or laugh until tears are running down their cheeks. Their temperament remains steady. Beneath their cool, reticent, almost timid personalities, phlegmatics draw from a good combination of abilities. They feel more emotion than appears on the surface and have a great capacity to appreciate the fine arts and the better things of life.

Since phlegmatics enjoy people, they do not lack for friends. They are natural-born conversationalist who love to hear a good story as much as they enjoy telling one. Known for their dry sense of humor, they have the ability to see the lighter side in everyday situations. Their retentive minds delight in poking fun at the other temperament types.

The chief weakness of phlegmatics, which often keeps them from fulfilling their potential, is their dearth of motivation. Some husbands will say this about their phlegmatic wives: “She is a wonderful wife and mother, but she is one lousy housekeeper.” A frustrated wife might say, “Joe is a wonderful husband, but he can’t seem to get a promotion.”

Although they are easy to live with, phlegmatics have a careless, low-pressure way of living that can irritate a hyperactive partner to no end. [1]

[1] The temperaments are summarised from “How to Be Happy Though Married”, Tim LaHaye. Published by Tyndale House Publishers.

Rediscovering our workplace soul

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The industrial revolution changed not only manufacturing processes it also changed the very fabric of society and these changes continued through the 20th century and into our present time. As society moved from being farming communities and we began to spend long hours working in factories the way that families related changed. Life was no longer so integrated. We were moved from the source of our food production. Families were reduced to the immediate context of mother, father and children. Communities were substituted for housing developments that in suburbia became dormitories. They were the retreat that people came to after spending eight or more hours at work and up to 3 or 4 hours more commuting to their work. To live in these suburbs requires no commitment to its well being or function. This is all done by other community developers.

I like what Tim Costello says in his chapter on vocation from his book Tips from a Travelling Soul Searcher.

Perhaps life is not a race whose only goal is being foremost. Perhaps the truth lies in what most of the world outside the modern west has always believed, namely that there are practices in life, good in themselves, which are inherently fulfilling. Perhaps work that is intrinsically rewarding is better for human beings than work that is only extrinsically rewarded. Perhaps enduring commitment to those we love and civic friendship toward our fellow citizens are preferable to restless competition and anxious self defense. Perhaps common worship, in which we express gratitude and wonder in the face of the mystery of being itself, is the most important thin of all. If so we will have to change our lives and being to remember what we have been happier to forget. (Holiness of the Heart, quoted by Costello)

Today most jobs are regarded as commodities. Once what teachers, lawyers, bankers other professions did was seen as a benefit to their community. Their value was not just tied to the size of their pay packet. This has changed and a profession has become a commodity their where their services are contracted and tied to their economic production. Security, community, belonging are gone replaced .Many professionals are mourning their loss of vocation not just because they have lost their security but because they no longer have a tangible contribution to the benefit and welfare of their community

The key to discovering your workplace soul will be to discover that sense of vocation. To be able to remember those things that seem to be forgotten in today’s fast paced world. To relocate ourselves in the context of a meaningful community were we once again learn to talk and listen, and where we are able to be valued because of our spirit and not what we produce

It will be those organisations who are able to provide such a context that will provide an enduring contribution for the future. And those people who are able to contribute to such a context will rediscover something of the true intention of “work”. For them it will be transformed from what is often seen as a derogatory term to a sense of rediscovered calling and vocation.

5 Tips for Public Speaking

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I speak publicly nearly every week. If you had asked me 20 years ago what I would be doing then public speaking would not have been on my list. But because I have been a minister of a church for most of my adult life this has required me to speak in public on a very regular basis.

Being and effective public speaker is essential for those who wish to be able to influence others positively. IT is a skill that can be learned but it requires hard work. Don’t be afraid of those people who seem to have a natural talent for public speaking for anyone to say anything worthwhile requires that they also have the character to match what they are saying. The world is full of shooting stars who are able to shoot their mouth off but if you are committed to this task and have the character to match you will be able to continue to say things that are valuable for a long time.

 These are some of the things that have helped me in my Public Speaking:

  1. I believe in what I am talking about. Each week I am speaking about something that is one of my core motivators in life. It has been a privilege to have a platform where I can organize my thoughts and present them in a coherent framework. I don’t find public speaking to be a natural talent of mine and I find it quite exhausting. But, I do it week after week because I believe in what I am talking about. Find something that you are enthusiastic about and believe in and that will enable you to continue on even when you are not feeling all that successful about it.
  2. Join Toastmasters I did this at a very early stage in my public speaking career. It was a great training ground where we had to present impromptu and organized speeches and receive feedback. Toastmasters were also great for their social interaction and contacts that I made.
  3. Doing it over and over. After a while it gets easier to work out how words will flow, how one paragraph will flow into the next and all the other nuances of what creates a compelling speech. People have mentioned that in my normal conversation I can tend to be a bit disjointed but in my public speaking I am very fluent. The reason for this is because I have practiced my public speaking, over and over again. Before I have given any presentation I have usually done the whole thing in private at least twice, with all my hand gestures and positions on the stage as well.
  4. Build a repertoire of stories. Stories are the lifeblood of any public speaker. The best stories are the ones that relate to a personal experience it gives credibility to what you are saying. I recently listened to several presentations by a very accomplished public speaker but he lacked the personal touch. It’s a delicate balance between being seen as just talking about yourself and vulnerability but good public speakers have learned to achieve that balance consistently. Collect other stories, poems and quotes that connect to you personally. I usually don’t quote poetry because I don’t get it. I would feel like a fake if all of a sudden I started sprouting off with some profound sonnet speaking of some beautiful flower. It’s not me so I don’t do it. I do love stories about people and short parables and I have built and extensive repertoire of these for my talks.
  5. Get the audience involved. One of the things that I hate in public speakers is when they tell the audience to repeat something that they have said. That’s dumb and I hate being treated as a stupid follower. I like being involved but what to be able to respond to something that has hit home to me. Don’t use dumb contrived interaction gimmicks.

Related Story

How to Speak in Public – Your speech structure

Heroes in my life – Dad

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I remember one significant time in my life when my dad said that I love you.

It was the day after the football grand final in my home town. This was significant not because of the fooball but because it was the first time that I got publicly drunk. And, I was very drunk. I was about 16.

I made a complete ass of myself. Not once but right throughout the day. This in a small country town was bound to get back to my parents. Especially because they are good church people and a lot of people took great pleasure in letting them know how bad their son was. The phone calls began early the day after, mostly from church people saying how sorry they were about what I had done.

This for my parents who are very private people was deeply shameful.

That afternoon dad picked me up from work. He said, “that was a very stupid thing that you did yesterday, Chris. But, we still love you very much.”

That day has stood out to me for 25 years because in the midst of all these other people thinking I was an idiot (they were right) my dad still loved me. I hope that I can be like him.

These are some of the key things I have learned from my dad:

1. Work hard – he is 71 and works three jobs not because he has to but because he enjoys himself. I admire his work ethic.
2. Don’t just say I love you – live it. In the story that I told at the beginning of this post what Dad said to me meant a lot but I know that everything Dad has done is an expression of his love for me. More than saying it he has lived it faithfully.
3. Be faithful to your wife – They have been married for over 40 years
4. Be interested in everything – Dad has his nose in everything. If he doesn’t know he will find out. Sometimes it drives you crazy but it keeps him alive
5. Keep learning – Dad is still willing to have a go at many things even starting a new career at 70. He hasn’t stopped learning yet

The things we say and do can have a profound effect on those closest to us. An impressive legacy is when the person who is responsible for bringing you into the world has also had one of the biggest positive impacts on who you are today. I am my own person now with my own family yet they are able to reap the benefits of the sort of Dad my dad is. My life is a testimony to the quality of his parenting.

What Yahoo lacks at the moment

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How is this for honesty from a Yahoo executive’s recently leaked memo. This was reported in the Wall Street journal and has created a real buzz around the internet. From Brad Garlinghouse, Yahoo senior vice president.

The first part deals with what is wrong:

We lack a focused, cohesive vision for our company. We want to do everything and be everything — to everyone. We are scared to be left out. We are reactive instead of charting an unwavering course. We are separated into silos that far too frequently don’t talk to each other. And when we do talk, it isn’t to collaborate on a clearly focused strategy, but rather to argue and fight about ownership, strategies and tactics.

Our inclination and proclivity to repeatedly hire leaders from outside the company results in disparate visions of what winning looks like — rather than a leadership team rallying around a single cohesive strategy.

I’ve heard our strategy described as spreading peanut butter across the myriad opportunities that continue to evolve in the online world. The result: a thin layer of investment spread across everything we do and thus we focus on nothing in particular.

I hate peanut butter. We all should.

We lack clarity of ownership and accountability. The most painful manifestation of this is the massive redundancy that exists throughout the organization.


We lack decisiveness. Combine a lack of focus with unclear ownership, and the result is that decisions are either not made or are made when it is already too late.

What they need to do to change if they want to succeed in the future:

1. Focus the vision

a) We need to boldly and definitively declare what we are and what we are not.

b) We need to exit (sell?) non core businesses and eliminate duplicative projects and businesses.

2. Restore accountability and clarity of ownership

a) Existing business owners must be held accountable for where we find ourselves today — heads must roll,

b) We must thoughtfully create senior roles that have holistic accountability for a particular line of business (a variant of a GM structure that will work with Yahoo!’s new focus)

c) We must redesign our performance and incentive systems.

3. Execute a radical reorganization

a) The current business unit structure must go away.

b) We must dramatically decentralize and eliminate as much of the matrix as possible.

c) We must reduce our headcount by 15-20%.

Two principles that must be followed:

  • Blow up the matrix.
  • Kill the redundancies.

This sort of honesty is a sign of strength within Yahoo. And, it still has lots of strengths. As one of the big three on the internet along with Microsoft and Google it will be interestng to see how Yahoo defines itself in the future. The big three appear to be trying to do a lot of the same things a lot of the time and they are not always successful in their attempts.

I think that ultimately the web always is about communication and it will be those groups that can harness the largest voice that will continue to prosper in the future. Arrington in Tech Crunch says that underlying this honesty is the more familiar powerplay scenario among senior management.
Here is a quick take on his more cynical perspective on this honesty:

My guess is that Yahoo senior management has been discussing these types of changes for some time, and this may be a power move by Garlinghouse to get in front of the parade. If changes are made, he looks like a hero. If they aren’t, he can take credit for trying.

Either way, at this point, I don’t see how Semel and Garlinghouse can both remain at Yahoo. From what I’m hearing, Semel may be the one to lose. The WSJ reports that Yahoo COO Dan Rosensweig has put Garlinghouse in charge of a working group to review how the points in the memo can be put into action. Tech Crunch

It is amazing how quickly we are seeing the cycle of decay occur in businesses today. Yahoo is already having to deal with the realities of a irrelevant management structures and a bloated hierarchial structure that is no longer able to effectively meet the business challenges facing it today. In less than 10 years it has gone from a startup to whizz company to a lumbering behemouth struggling to take the next positive steps forward.

Quotes on responsibility

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Part of our essential humanity is paying respect to what God gave us and what will be here a long time after we’re gone. – Bill Clinton

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. Viktor Frankl

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach. Tony Robbins

Responsibility:  A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one’s neighbor.In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

Why do children want to grow up? Because they experience their lives as constrained by immaturity and perceive adulthood as a condition of greater freedom and opportunity. But what is there today, in America, that very poor and very rich adolescents want to do but cannot do?  Not much:they can “do” drugs, “have” sex, “make” babies, and “get” money (from their parents, crime, or the State).  For such adolescents, adulthood becomes synonymous with responsibility rather than liberty. Is it any surprise that they remain adolescents?~Thomas Szasz

Stuff worth having a look at

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  • Are you havng fun – This is where I got my quote about kids being kings
  • Steve Pavlina’s post on light workers is interesting and worth a read. Like a lot of Steve’s stuff it is a little left of centre yet he always seems to keep a great grasp on the deeper truth regarding personal development.
  • Five quick tips to keep the glass half full – One of the essential requirements of any leader is to be able to remain optimistic.
    Here is a couple to start with:
  1. “Get off of the ground, but stay out of the clouds” – Be able to take a step back occasionally and get a good perspective on what is happening in your life so those “little things” are marginalized, but be careful you don’t get so far up and away from that you lose track of any lessons to be learned or changes in direction that should occur.
  2. “Open mind, open skies” – An open mind is critical to keeping a positive perspective; it creates a feeling of freedom that keeps you soaring in the open skies instead of being stuck in the fishbowl.

Bloggers who I subscribe to who aren’t saying much (hopefully just at the moment):

  • Guy Kawasaki – When I first started reading his blog I was refreshed by his input but lately his posts have not excited me very much at all. At one stage he got too interested in his Technorati rating I find that people who talk about how popular they are becoming boorish to say the least. Then the content just got boring it stopped connecting with me for a start.

One of the things that I am thinking about at the moment is Steven Covey’s 8th Habit, to find your voice. In the world of Web 2.0 I believe that our highest calling will be to express the voice of the community. How this works in reality is currently being worked out in the blogging world as we see the global conversation growing every day.

It will be those people who are able to take that conversaton and hear it’s voice and be able to then speak to a wider community in a language that they understand that will be successful in the future.

More on this in the very near future…..